Two poems that i had almost forgot i wrote. just after my mum died
Two Poems for my Mum
The Jam in the fridge
I have my mums jam in the fridge
I imagine the sun was shining when she first picked the fruit
I bet she was smiling when she boiled the sugar and fruit to make the jam
Then carefully put it into jars and stuck hand written labels on
She loved to give
And would like to watch the faces of the lucky receivers
Made with love and thoughtfulness
A fair lady who always made enough for all to have an equal share
She grew up in the war, when jam was a treat
When the world for a child must have seamed a mad and troubled place
Today it appears a mad place to me
My sisters refuse to give me anything of my mums, now she has passed
I said to my daughter last night
Would you like cheese sandwiches for school for school tomorrow?
‘No Thanks ‘ she said
I’d like the Jam from the fridge.
Greif is a funny thing
Greif is a funny thing
Today I forgot to feed the dog
She sat there by her bowl her sad eyes looking up
The gilt that overwhelmed me was soon fixed with some food
And then a wagging tail and off to find her squeaky duck
All forgiven and forgot
Greif is a funny thing
I can’t talk to my sisters, but pour out all my troubles to a stranger on a bus
I walk places; I forget why I was going there
Lose my purse and can’t answer the phone
For a brief moment forget you’re gone
Then without control crumple to my knees
Grief is a funny thing
I can’t sleep in my bed at night
But full asleep in a chair in a public place
And wake myself up snoring loudly
Worrying that every ones been looking
And that I may have been talking or worse dribbling
Grief is a funny thing
Where nothing makes sense but everything is clear
Like who your friends and foe are
Those who send hate or send cheer
Those you want to hang around with
And those you wish would disappear
Grief is a funny thing
Everything distracts you, I hear my self endlessly saying ‘sorry what’
It makes you forgetful; I’ve even forgotten what I was going to write
It was on the tip of my tongue but I can’t recall the words
I guess I just want to say,
I never imagined you would go away
Grief is a funny thing
Is not all bad, as it makes you remember
The picnics and plays and off happier days
I was pleased the last time I saw you, you said you where happy
I try hard to remember you smiling; I just wish I could do the same
But then grief is not a funny thing
Jane Yates (Marion Edward) September 2010
thank you for reading x x