Two poems that i had almost forgot i wrote. just after my mum died

Two Poems for my Mum

The Jam in the fridge

I have my mums jam in the fridge

I imagine the sun was shining when she first picked the fruit

I bet she was smiling when she boiled the sugar and fruit to make the jam

Then carefully put it into jars and stuck hand written labels on

She loved to give

And would like to watch the faces of the lucky receivers

Made with love and thoughtfulness

A fair lady who always made enough for all to have an equal share

She grew up in the war, when jam was a treat

When the world for a child must have seamed a mad and troubled place

Today it appears a mad place to me

My sisters refuse to give me anything of my mums, now she has passed

I said to my daughter last night

Would you like cheese sandwiches for school for school tomorrow?

‘No Thanks ‘ she said

I’d like the Jam from the fridge.

Greif is a funny thing

Greif is a funny thing

Today I forgot to feed the dog

She sat there by her bowl her sad eyes looking up

The gilt that overwhelmed me was soon fixed with some food

And then a wagging tail and off to find her squeaky duck

All forgiven and forgot

Greif is a funny thing

I can’t talk to my sisters, but pour out all my troubles to a stranger on a bus

I walk places; I forget why I was going there

Lose my purse and can’t answer the phone

For a brief moment forget you’re gone

Then without control crumple to my knees

Grief is a funny thing

I can’t sleep in my bed at night

But full asleep in a chair in a public place

And wake myself up snoring loudly

Worrying that every ones been looking

And that I may have been talking or worse dribbling

Grief is a funny thing

Where nothing makes sense but everything is clear

Like who your friends and foe are

Those who send hate or send cheer

Those you want to hang around with

And those you wish would disappear

Grief is a funny thing

Everything distracts you, I hear my self endlessly saying ‘sorry what’

It makes you forgetful; I’ve even forgotten what I was going to write

It was on the tip of my tongue but I can’t recall the words

I guess I just want to say,

I never imagined you would go away

Grief is a funny thing

Is not all bad, as it makes you remember

The picnics and plays and off happier days

I was pleased the last time I saw you, you said you where happy

I try hard to remember you smiling; I just wish I could do the same

But then grief is not a funny thing

Jane Yates (Marion Edward) September 2010

thank you for reading x x